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Hard to believe that just 50 years ago, interracial marriage was illegal in Texas. Yikes. One of the most popular topics I’m asked about is interracial relationships. These questions range from, “How did your parents react to you dating a white boy?” to “What differences have been hard to overcome in an interracial relationship?”. I’m writing this post to answer your questions and because I would have loved to read something like this because no one in my friend circle had any experience.
What is an relationship that is interracial?
An relationship that is interracial when both parties in the relationship belong to different socially-defined races or racialized ethnicities. My husband is white, and I am Asian! Our kiddo is going to have to have a ball picking a category on government papers, haha. But more on her later.
INTERRACIAL DATING
There’s a difference that is massive casual interracial relationships and ones with the intent for marriage. If you’re someone who isn’t looking for a casual fling and are thinking about dating someone of a different race or culture, I hope this post answers some questions you have!
How did your parents react to you dating a white boy?
My dad always told me that the integrity and character of a person mattered most to him. So, when I started dating Hank, I knew what to look for. Besides integrity and character, I also looked for a love that is deep God, and obviously, someone I found attractive. He fit all of those boxes and more. I was beyond excited to introduce him to my dad. My mom was a bit more traditional. In my school years, she told me that she was I’d that is hoping find excellent Telugu, Brahmin, Hindu boy. Hahahaha. So far off. But she knew there was something extraordinary about him after she met Hank. Even though she made comments about cultural compatibility at first, she grew to understand that it’s better to be with someone who respects and loves my culture than someone who looks like they fit in from the outside.
I’m proud to say that my super southern, white husband can make a kickass biryani, has watched countless Bollywood and Tollywood movies, and speaks more Telugu than the average American Telugu guy. Find a guy who respects your culture and wants to be a right part of it. Even the other day, my mom said to me, you couldn’t have found someone better to join our family.
How did you introduce him to your family, and how did he introduce you to his?
Three months after we started dating, my parents took us along with four of my friends out for dinner at an Indian restaurant. He and my dad really hit it off and talked the time that is whole. My mom watched their interaction, interjected here and there, and smiled at me. To see my daddio genuinely get along with my then-boyfriend meant a complete lot to her and me.
One week he took me to meet and stay with his parents after we started dating. They were so welcoming and warm! Their mannerisms may have been different to me, like when it came to the formality of dinner or conversation that is polite everyone was heard (my family won’t let you get a word in, lol), but all I felt from them was love. Sure, they asked me several questions about my family, culture, and background but all in a genuinely curious way and not in a way that ever made me feel uncomfortable. When people are eager to learn, I am happy to share.
Did people throw objectional thoughts at you and your relationship?
My husband shall tell you how much more he notices injustice to minorities since we’ve been together. I’ll never forget when we drove to Atlanta from Austin.
Story 1
On a road trip, we stopped by Panera Bread on the outskirts of Alabama. The second we go well hello walked into the crowded eatery, the restaurant went silent. I nervously tried to tug my hand out of his in the hopes that maybe that would stop the staring, but he just held on tighter, put on a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and led us to the cashier. It felt like an eternity before people started chatting again.?
Story 2
At an Indian restaurant in Dallas, this couple sitting next to us stopped eating mid-way and stared at my hubs as he started eating. I’m talking open-mouthed, staring for several minutes. My whole family noticed it, but it was my mom (total mama bear) who went over to their table and said, “Look at your own food.”?
Story 3
On the same road trip, we stopped by a pharmacy to pick up snacks in Georgia. Hubs was in line in front of me, and the cashier made pleasant conversation with him. When I walked up, she stopped talking. She scanned my items, threw them in a bag, ripped my receipt out, and shouted, “next!”. Hubby was standing by the hinged door, livid. I grabbed his hand and walked out. He wanted to give her a piece of his mind, but I just wanted to get on the road.?
It’s been a two-sided experience, but with supportive partners and families, we are stronger than we would have been alone. He calls our diversity our superpower.
